I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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