Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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