I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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