Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
