Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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