i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
