Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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