Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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