Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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