Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
