are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
