atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize