I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
