I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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