She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
