piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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