Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat