Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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