True but thats because hes a fetus.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize