mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wish my penis had a tongue
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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