Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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