im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
