I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
