So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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