Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
