Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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