Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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