Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
