She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
