I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
