Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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