I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
