Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
