my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize