She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
