u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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