hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
