I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Omg I joined a choir last night...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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