He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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