my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize