You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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