Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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