so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
