no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
