you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
