just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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