i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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