If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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