Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
