Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
