Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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