i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
