I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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