She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
