batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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