margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So vagazzling was a success
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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