if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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