you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
