I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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