problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
