I can tuck mytits in my pants
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
