I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My butt remains clenched, sir.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
