By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
