but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
where are you?
Hypothermia
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
