What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
